Marriage & Relationships - Humor

Bumper sticker seen on a cookie delivery truck:"Driver carries no money; he's married."

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Do you know the punishment for bigamy?Two mothers-in-law.

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I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back

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After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, "You know, I was a fool when I married you."

She replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice."

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The Dog & The Funeral

A man was leaving a cafe with his morning coffee when he noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery. A long black hearse was followed by a second long black hearse about 50 feet behind. Behind the second hearse was a solitary man walking a pit bull dog on a leash. Behind him were 200 men walking single file. The man couldn't stand the curiosity. He respectfully approached the man walking the dog and said, "I am so sorry for your loss, and I know now is a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen a funeral like this. Whose funeral is it?" The man replied, "Well, that first hearse is for my wife." "What happened to her?" The man replied, "My dog attacked and killed her." He inquired further, "Well, who is in the second hearse?" The man answered, "My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my wife when the dog turned on her." A poignant and thoughtful moment of silence passes between the two men. "Can I borrow the dog?" "Get in line."